I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He passed out mid-signature
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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