Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
