How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
