shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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