i need an iv and a liver transplant
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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