If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
