Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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