I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
