And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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