That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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