have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
