She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
