I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
