I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
