my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
