i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
