Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize