I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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