Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
