You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
