I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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