The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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