Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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