i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
