Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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