I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
