You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize