GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize