if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
