ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
