I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
