Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
