I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
