he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
