just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
