Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize