Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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