Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my sisters under your porch take her home
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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