i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm too high and old for this...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
