I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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