her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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