No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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