I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
