I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
