nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
