Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just gift wrapped bread.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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