I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
