i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
