Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
