drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
