Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was born a porn star she said
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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