Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's the barista slut.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
