I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
