I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
