I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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