i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
