Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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