I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
