hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
