sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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