Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize