lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
