I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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