paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
