Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I am morally bankrupt
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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