Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
