YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
