Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He better not be in your backpack
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
