He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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