im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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