He is an equal opportunity slut.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
