Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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