Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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