life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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