I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
