shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
