I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
