Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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