if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
